The word in itself can seem empty, lonesome, & depressing. Most people I’ve come across struggle with the “single status”—or at least struggle with it at some point in their life. I know because I’ve been there, too.
I was that girl who struggled with feeling as if a love life was just passing her by. Being inclined to have a “mushy lovey dovey heart”, a heart that just longed to express love to someone, that was hard & painful at times. I remember often wondering, “Gee, what’s wrong with me?” As a teenager, nearly all my friends were dating & I was still single. At this stage in life, nearly all my friends are either in serious relationships, engaged, or married & having children. Instead of being bitter about it as I was as a teenager, though, now, I see a much grander, lovelier, & deeper picture.
Many times, we view being single as a negative, almost as if it were something to be ashamed or embarrassed about when that is the farthest thing from the truth. Being single is actually a precious & golden opportunity; a time of extreme growth & amazing potential. We can utilize this time to grow in our faith, grow closer & more deeply in love with Christ & also, learn more about ourselves & grow as an individual. I believe being single can aid in us learning to just enjoy the season we’re in & to stop & take time to relish & smell the roses of life. It’s a time to slow down & appreciate the moments God has given us without striving to rush into the next season. When you consider the thought, we a lot of times are always feeling inadequate in the stage of life or the season we’re in. Granted, there can be some unpleasant ones. Maybe you view being single as one of those. Hey. I get it. Absolutely. But you know what I’ve learned? When we have Christ in our life, we are really never single anyway. Sure. I dream of a “happily ever after”, I love pinning wedding related things on Pinterest. Marriage is a very serious thing to me & a journey I hope to embark upon one day, in God’s timing. I still have those melancholy moments, moments where my heart yearns to share life with a dear, special someone—but I also know that enjoying each moment of life as it comes, seizing the moment wherever you are is better than rushing or stressing about the future, a future that is already safe, sure & secure in our Heavenly Father’s hands. Your love story will never be more beautiful than the one you allow God to write for you.
FALL IN LOVE WITH JESUS.
In the season of singleness, we need to also continue to fall in love with Jesus- our true love-love in it’s truest form. Jesus IS love. My friend, fall in love with Jesus before you fall in love with anyone else. Let HIS love carry you when you’re lonely as you wait for the beautiful things God has in store for you. The antidote for loneliness is to spend time with Jesus. Learn who you are in Him. We love because He loved us FIRST. Our truest, most genuine self is only found in Him. Become grounded in your identity in Him. Your identity & worth should not be found in or be based upon any relationship except your relationship with Christ.
I cannot stress this enough. I’ve seen situations where one can become weary & impatient in waiting & end up dating someone that is not God’s best. More often than not, it ends up in heartbreak. It’s heartbreaking to watch. My friend, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how painful it feels, I can promise you, being single, waiting for God’s best & listening to His leading is better than wishing you had. Lowering your standards & settling for less than God’s best is much worse & more miserable than being single. Keep your eyes on Jesus & keep your focus on Him. Occupy yourself with serving Him. Seek first His kingdom & His righteousness. Trust God & trust in His love for you. He will bring that special someone into your life in His perfect timing & His timing is just that—perfect! God knows you better than anyone else, after all, He created you. He knows who is best for you & when the time is right for them to enter your life. He’s set you aside like a precious jewel, the precious jewel you are, & has you set aside for the one who sees your immense worth & value.
Another thing I’ve found helpful in the waiting season is to pray for your future spouse & I like to think & hope they’re doing the same for me as well. To think there is a man out there, praying for me just as I am praying for him is pretty exciting actually! There’s something so uplifting about praying for that special someone. I find that in times where you’re feeling especially depressed or lonely, praying for her/him is of great encouragement. I also love to write poems & letters to my future spouse so that one day, I can share them with him.
Singleness can be a time of preparation, as well. I know for me, my heart’s desire is to be the best woman I can be for my future husband. Of course, the only way to do this is to focus on Christ & grow in Him. We can never transform by our own works or efforts. Take this time & allow God to mold you, shape you, & transform you into His best for someone, as He works in their life, too. Another thing that I’ve found very helpful is learning your love language! This is not only confined to romantic relationships either. It’s wonderful in any relationship!
Love language test: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/#discovery-whom.
It helped me better understand myself & others. When you know how others “speak love”, it can be extremely helpful.
Example: My best friend’s #1 language is “Words of Affirmation”. Not only do encouraging words mean a lot to her, but Words of Affirmation is so one of her most gifted ways of showing love to others.
Dear friend, I know how hard this time period can but take heart. Your best days are ahead. Be an individual who lives with purpose & intention during this season. Choose to focus on living out every day for the glory of God. Let Him fill that void. God will send you a love that will redeem the time you have patiently waited. I promise one day you’re going to wake up & be so glad you waited. The best things in life are worth waiting for—especially God’s best!
“Tonight I saw a shooting star,
Made me wonder where you are.
For years I have been dreaming of you,
And I wonder if you’re thinking of me, too.
In this world of cheap romance
And love that only fades after the dance,
They say I’m a fool to wait for something more.
How can I really love someone I’ve never seen before?
But I have longed for a true love story every day that I have lived,
And I know real love is all about learning how to give.
So I pray that God will bring you to me,
And I pray you’ll find me waiting faithfully.
Faithfully, I am yours
From now until forever.
Faithfully, I will write,
Write you a love song with my life.
‘Cause this kind of love’s worth waiting for
No matter how long it takes.
I am yours.
Tonight I saw two lovers kiss,
Reminded me of my own loneliness.
They say I’m a fool to keep praying for you
How can I give up pleasure for a dream that won’t come true?
But I will keep believing that God still has a plan.
And though I cannot see you now, I know that He can,
And someday I will give you all of me.
Until I find you, I’ll be waiting faithfully.”