Who’s Defining You?


I’ll never forget the first time someone hurt me. I was five years old, playing on the playground at McDonald’s when this girl came up to me & told me that I was ugly. I remember feeling so very hurt by this remark & it was something that I never forgot. The older I became, more hurtful words came to me & kids would often bully & pick on me, usually because of my size. Close family members would say cruel things & ridicule me. (I’m a very sensitive individual, not in a dramatic way but in the sense that I feel things & emotions very deeply, including other’s as well. I believe that is one reason I found myself taking these hurtful things straight to heart & believing the lies. Not knowing my identity in Christ definitely played a huge part as well.) By the time I was a teenager, I had a well formed idea that I was never good enough, people were never going to accept me for myself & that I was always coming up short in some way or another. I began to hate myself, which led into a long battle with anorexia, a period of time where I would mutilate myself, & an overall non-existent positive self image. I then entered a relationship where I experienced emotional, physical, verbal & mental abuse. The person I was dating always tried their best to make me feel worthless, guilty & as if I owed him everything- especially because I was not going to cave in & give away my purity before marriage. I formed a mentality of basically “sub human”. Anytime I tried to be myself, I was scolded, hit, slapped, lectured, or yelled at. I lived in fear of being raped & in some moments, fear of being kidnapped. He would call me stupid, make me feel I wasn’t good enough for anything but serving him. On top of that, one of his family members would weekly attack me verbally. This individual would cause me to feel worse than crap on a barn floor. I could go on but I won’t. The point I even shared any of this (which wasn’t easy) is because I want you, dear reader, I want you to know that I understand, understand that yes—people can really hurt us. They can say things, do things, & cause things to hurt us. That pain, that hurt, those emotions, & those tears that come as a reaction from such an occurrence, they are valid & they are real. What is not real are those lies that were spoken; the lies that said you were worthless, the lies that said you were stupid, the lies that said you were a failure, the lies that said you weren’t special, the lies that said your were heartless, the lies that said you won’t ever amount to anything, the lies that said you were ugly & fat, the lies that said your dreams weren’t special, the lies that said you weren’t worth waiting for, the lies that said you don’t or will never make a difference in people’s lives… 

My friend, let me tell you something. Those lies do not hold any water or validation when faced with the TRUTH. 

You may be asking, “What is the truth?”

 Well…….

You are special. You are unique. You are wonderful. You are successful. Your calling & election are sure. You are unconditionally loved & wholly approved. You are God’s beloved. You are the apple of God’s eye. You are treasured by God. You are not average, you are not ordinary—you are extraordinary! You are blessed. You are talented. You are creative. You are righteous. You are victorious. You are wise. You are passionate. You are strong. You are confident. You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are redeemed. You are forgiven. You are accepted. You are kind. You are compassionate. You are accepted. You are approved. You are empowered. You matter. You are significant. Jesus delights in you! You are LOVED


These are just a few things, a few truths. There are an endless amount more. These things are not true because of any other reason except this is how God sees you & this is what HE says about you! This is what defines you. Not those lies. Not what that person said about you or what Satan whispered to you. God has the final word & His word is true! You are so, so special. You are priceless! 
Sometimes, it can be difficult to accept & believe these truths, especially when it feels like the lies are constantly screaming at you. You have to make a decisive & definitive choice, a choice to drown out these lies with God’s truths. Choose to agree with God & how He defines you, how He sees you, & what He says about you. 


“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” –Song of Solomon 4:7

The more we continue to learn & receive a greater revelation of just who we are in Christ & just how much He loves us, we discover that only God’s opinion of us is truly what matters. We can rest, knowing that His opinion of us is the same one He has for His Son, Jesus. Because of the finished work on the cross, when God looks at us, He sees His Son. Even when the world seems as if it is rejecting us, God’s acceptance is all we need. Because of Jesus, we have His acceptance! 


Quit allowing those lies to define who you are & ultimately define your future! God has too much of an extravagant plan for you & your life for you to miss out on because you believed a lie. And listen, don’t you dare think for a minute you have nothing to offer, either. There is something that God has especially given you that is so unique, so special, something that will cause you to leave a mark on this world, & in so very many people’s lives for the cause of Christ! Also, don’t ever bite into the lie that you are too messed up, too broken, or too damaged to ever make a difference. Think about it. Your brokenness could be someone’s breakthrough. Your scars could be someone’s hope. Your vulnerability could be what God uses to set someone free. Your testimony isn’t your’s to keep. I’m learning that right now, actually. I’m learning that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to to open up. Cracked pots shine God’s light best. 


God turns our beauty into ashes,

Our scars into testimonies,

Our heartbreak into healing,

Our hurt into hope,

Our messes into beautiful masterpieces that turn into a message,

Our pain into praise,

Our sorrow into a song of joy,

Our disappointments into His destiny. 

You are never too far gone or broken that God’s love can’t reach you, touch you, mend you, heal you, transform you & transform your life. 

In closing, I personally would like to convey this to anyone reading right now. Not only does God think these amazing things of you, dear reader— I do, too. You are a treasure, a rare jewel. You have such potential, such value! You are the reason someone smiled today. You’re so wonderful that Webster could never come up with a word that could even begin to describe how amazing you are! You make a difference!! God has such awesome & spectacular plans for you. Never doubt that! You were created & designed for a purpose- for such a time as this.


Begin to ground yourself in God’s love, His truth & His promises. Write them down, speak them out, proclaim them over your life. Agree with God. From this day forward, choose to let the truth define you, choose to let God define you. He already has defined you. You are secure in Him. Believe His definition. 
Thank you for reading!

-Julia 

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